I was miserable,
then i was happy for a while.
Now I feel lower than I actually was before.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to think
like this anymore. Every time there is a highlight in
my day, there is a something that goes wrong every time to make me
feel bad again, I hate this, I just want it to end.
Its not fair. Why should I even bother trying anymore? I don't know.
I thank my friends for being there, but then I wonder why don't they
all just ignore me. I don't deserve your kindness, you are too nice.

Cait - I'm sorry

So now everything has been revealed,
I hope its not going to effect us much.

Just by telling you has made me feel happy
and it feels like a weight has been lifted from me.

I just want to scream out " I Love You"

Dreams

Toady I was thinking, what does life hold for me after i leave school. Every event in my life whether it was big or small, has meant something. Also what do i want in life. My head pounds with thoughts and my heart feels like it is going to burst with feelings. I have a picture in my head of life beyond school in a few years to come, of Me and You and our family all living together as one. I know im probably dreaming but who really cares at least it makes me smile. Im turning my life around instead of being sad and lonely im going to be happy and in love. :) Dreams are possible if you try.

XXX

Being true to myself

I want to express my feelings in some way. I have been saying that i am going to change for a while now, but today I realised with the help of an amazing friend that its not worth being someone im not and i should just be who i really am inside. I mean where am i heading being this person that im not. Im sick of following in others footsteps and doing/acting in a way that others want because its not really me. From now on i am going to start being my true self and who knows it might work out for the best. Im just sad that it has taken me this long to realise that i need to be myself.


The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. ~James Matthew Barrie

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955


He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare

If i want to do something, im going to do it, I don't care what others think, This is my life and im going to live it the way i want.

Im so over this, it can't go on.

What does this word mean.
This one word, makes everyone think and wonder.
Love, what does it really mean??? People use the word love too freely, they think oh its just a world, but its not just a word.
This one word is not just something to say whenever and whenever you want to. It should mean something.
The person you say it to really should be the one. You should say it when you actually really feel it.

Definition - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I know its confusing. Don't be afraid to say it, but just ask yourself do you really mean it.

You say i haven't done anything.
Well I obviously have, you havent liked talked in ages.
What is it, tell me.
Im sorry for whatever i might have done.
JUST TALK...

Jeff Hardy (Theme)

Well I got a sharp stick, I keep in my pocket.
I speak volumes never utter a word
When u strike a match the fire will happen.
But the line between the smoke and the flames get blur

Don't u see the writing on the wall (writing on the wall)
Your in way over your head,
Your gonna drown in the things that you've said.

Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
Your words are cheap but lies are faint to me
Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
And tore your words like to ...

It's a paradox, a mystery, a riddle.
A door in your face and only I have the key.
To understand, you'd be caught in the middle.
Caught in a web of being spun by me.

Don't you see the writing on the wall. (Writing on the walls)
Your just a victim of your on conceit.
You got decked of your own defeat.

Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
Your words are cheap but lies are faint to me
Time has come thank god for words
A thousand threats I've heard before
And tore your words like ...

Never walk away from a fight that's worth fighting,
Never hesitate when you know your gonna act,
Never waste your words on the fool who won't listen,
Never sell your soul cus you'll never buy it.

Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
Your words are cheap but lies are faint to me
Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
And tore your words like to ...

Numb, Stunned, Afraid, Love, Lonely ????

I never thought it would get to this point where I feel like I can not go on.
I'm on the brink of insanity. I just want to scream from the rooftops. But i can't, its really getting over the top now. They have just taken over and I think its to late now to try and stop them. I don't think they will ever change Gah everyday, they get stronger, soon I'm going to explode. I'm just going to have to wait though because there is nothing I can do at this point in time. Gah, why does it have to be this way. Idk. I'm soooo confused. I keep asking myself "What to do, that wont end up with someone getting hurt". but i just don't know the answers. I'm just going to wait maybe everything will fall into place, i hope it does. I think i might be in way over my head, but i can help it.

What can i write about???
this is soooooooooooooooooo gay.
caitlin is obvestly mad with me or something...
what have i done??? idk.

TALK omg this is soooooooo depressing....

Omg this is so deprssing, im in ICT and like nobodys talking.
Its like being in a room with myself.
Is it because they are ignoring me or have i done something wrong?
Omg someone say something.

Gah at feelings. I hate them

I have so many things to tell you, but if I tell you at this present point in time, I will
most likely loose you as a friend. So I have decided I will just keep them to myself.
Even if i do just want to scream and let them all out.
I don't want to hurt you.

School today had its ups and then it had its downs.

Caitlin Wants Me Dead XP

Holly is Awesome - Thanks for being there. =]
Your a fantastic friend.
xD

So many Questions but so many answers I just don't want to here.