I can't control my feelings.
They have taken over and I don't know what to do.
I'm sick of thinking over and over about them, the
result of this is just sadness. It can't continue, I have
told you everything, I can't believe I did, but I have.
I'm still going to be your friend even if your choice is
the one that I am dreading, the one I can't handle, the one
that will turn my life upside down. I will get over it
someway or another.

I want to be happy, its just your decision whether you
want it or not. Its completely up to you now.

lol

I don't know where I am at the moment,
I know happiness is right there,
but i just cant seem to grab it.

I have so many feelings right now,
I want to be happy. really I do.

I was miserable,
then i was happy for a while.
Now I feel lower than I actually was before.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to think
like this anymore. Every time there is a highlight in
my day, there is a something that goes wrong every time to make me
feel bad again, I hate this, I just want it to end.
Its not fair. Why should I even bother trying anymore? I don't know.
I thank my friends for being there, but then I wonder why don't they
all just ignore me. I don't deserve your kindness, you are too nice.

Cait - I'm sorry

So now everything has been revealed,
I hope its not going to effect us much.

Just by telling you has made me feel happy
and it feels like a weight has been lifted from me.

I just want to scream out " I Love You"

Dreams

Toady I was thinking, what does life hold for me after i leave school. Every event in my life whether it was big or small, has meant something. Also what do i want in life. My head pounds with thoughts and my heart feels like it is going to burst with feelings. I have a picture in my head of life beyond school in a few years to come, of Me and You and our family all living together as one. I know im probably dreaming but who really cares at least it makes me smile. Im turning my life around instead of being sad and lonely im going to be happy and in love. :) Dreams are possible if you try.

XXX