Never meant to be happy

I have realized and excepted that i am never meant to be happy.
Every time my life starts to look good, something horrible happens.
I thought we were going well and then this happened. Im hating myself for
getting so attached and feeling what i felt. Im sorry for being so unlovable. Im
Sorry for being me. I know am faced with having to get through everyday without you by
my side and being able to hug you when im feeling low.

I always knew and dreaded that
this was going to happen, I just wished your feelings were different. Im hoping It can get better
and we can return to what we had.

I finally feel complete,
I love you.

Quote...

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will."

I can't control my feelings.
They have taken over and I don't know what to do.
I'm sick of thinking over and over about them, the
result of this is just sadness. It can't continue, I have
told you everything, I can't believe I did, but I have.
I'm still going to be your friend even if your choice is
the one that I am dreading, the one I can't handle, the one
that will turn my life upside down. I will get over it
someway or another.

I want to be happy, its just your decision whether you
want it or not. Its completely up to you now.

lol

I don't know where I am at the moment,
I know happiness is right there,
but i just cant seem to grab it.

I have so many feelings right now,
I want to be happy. really I do.