Having to think, about what i really want.
I want you, You have taken my heart, Now i want yours.
Where do i stand now. We really have to talk about us.

Im going to start being happy, its your choice if you want
to be apart of it.

Never meant to be happy

I have realized and excepted that i am never meant to be happy.
Every time my life starts to look good, something horrible happens.
I thought we were going well and then this happened. Im hating myself for
getting so attached and feeling what i felt. Im sorry for being so unlovable. Im
Sorry for being me. I know am faced with having to get through everyday without you by
my side and being able to hug you when im feeling low.

I always knew and dreaded that
this was going to happen, I just wished your feelings were different. Im hoping It can get better
and we can return to what we had.

I finally feel complete,
I love you.

Quote...

"Forget about all the reasons why something may not work. You only need to find one good reason why it will."

I can't control my feelings.
They have taken over and I don't know what to do.
I'm sick of thinking over and over about them, the
result of this is just sadness. It can't continue, I have
told you everything, I can't believe I did, but I have.
I'm still going to be your friend even if your choice is
the one that I am dreading, the one I can't handle, the one
that will turn my life upside down. I will get over it
someway or another.

I want to be happy, its just your decision whether you
want it or not. Its completely up to you now.

lol

I don't know where I am at the moment,
I know happiness is right there,
but i just cant seem to grab it.

I have so many feelings right now,
I want to be happy. really I do.

I was miserable,
then i was happy for a while.
Now I feel lower than I actually was before.

I don't know what to do, I don't want to think
like this anymore. Every time there is a highlight in
my day, there is a something that goes wrong every time to make me
feel bad again, I hate this, I just want it to end.
Its not fair. Why should I even bother trying anymore? I don't know.
I thank my friends for being there, but then I wonder why don't they
all just ignore me. I don't deserve your kindness, you are too nice.

Cait - I'm sorry

So now everything has been revealed,
I hope its not going to effect us much.

Just by telling you has made me feel happy
and it feels like a weight has been lifted from me.

I just want to scream out " I Love You"

Dreams

Toady I was thinking, what does life hold for me after i leave school. Every event in my life whether it was big or small, has meant something. Also what do i want in life. My head pounds with thoughts and my heart feels like it is going to burst with feelings. I have a picture in my head of life beyond school in a few years to come, of Me and You and our family all living together as one. I know im probably dreaming but who really cares at least it makes me smile. Im turning my life around instead of being sad and lonely im going to be happy and in love. :) Dreams are possible if you try.

XXX

Being true to myself

I want to express my feelings in some way. I have been saying that i am going to change for a while now, but today I realised with the help of an amazing friend that its not worth being someone im not and i should just be who i really am inside. I mean where am i heading being this person that im not. Im sick of following in others footsteps and doing/acting in a way that others want because its not really me. From now on i am going to start being my true self and who knows it might work out for the best. Im just sad that it has taken me this long to realise that i need to be myself.


The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. ~James Matthew Barrie

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. ~e.e. cummings, 1955


He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. ~Raymond Hull

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare

If i want to do something, im going to do it, I don't care what others think, This is my life and im going to live it the way i want.

Im so over this, it can't go on.

What does this word mean.
This one word, makes everyone think and wonder.
Love, what does it really mean??? People use the word love too freely, they think oh its just a world, but its not just a word.
This one word is not just something to say whenever and whenever you want to. It should mean something.
The person you say it to really should be the one. You should say it when you actually really feel it.

Definition - a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. I know its confusing. Don't be afraid to say it, but just ask yourself do you really mean it.

You say i haven't done anything.
Well I obviously have, you havent liked talked in ages.
What is it, tell me.
Im sorry for whatever i might have done.
JUST TALK...

Jeff Hardy (Theme)

Well I got a sharp stick, I keep in my pocket.
I speak volumes never utter a word
When u strike a match the fire will happen.
But the line between the smoke and the flames get blur

Don't u see the writing on the wall (writing on the wall)
Your in way over your head,
Your gonna drown in the things that you've said.

Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
Your words are cheap but lies are faint to me
Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
And tore your words like to ...

It's a paradox, a mystery, a riddle.
A door in your face and only I have the key.
To understand, you'd be caught in the middle.
Caught in a web of being spun by me.

Don't you see the writing on the wall. (Writing on the walls)
Your just a victim of your on conceit.
You got decked of your own defeat.

Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
Your words are cheap but lies are faint to me
Time has come thank god for words
A thousand threats I've heard before
And tore your words like ...

Never walk away from a fight that's worth fighting,
Never hesitate when you know your gonna act,
Never waste your words on the fool who won't listen,
Never sell your soul cus you'll never buy it.

Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
Your words are cheap but lies are faint to me
Time has come thank god for words.
A thousand threats I've heard before
And tore your words like to ...

Numb, Stunned, Afraid, Love, Lonely ????

I never thought it would get to this point where I feel like I can not go on.
I'm on the brink of insanity. I just want to scream from the rooftops. But i can't, its really getting over the top now. They have just taken over and I think its to late now to try and stop them. I don't think they will ever change Gah everyday, they get stronger, soon I'm going to explode. I'm just going to have to wait though because there is nothing I can do at this point in time. Gah, why does it have to be this way. Idk. I'm soooo confused. I keep asking myself "What to do, that wont end up with someone getting hurt". but i just don't know the answers. I'm just going to wait maybe everything will fall into place, i hope it does. I think i might be in way over my head, but i can help it.

What can i write about???
this is soooooooooooooooooo gay.
caitlin is obvestly mad with me or something...
what have i done??? idk.

TALK omg this is soooooooo depressing....

Omg this is so deprssing, im in ICT and like nobodys talking.
Its like being in a room with myself.
Is it because they are ignoring me or have i done something wrong?
Omg someone say something.

Gah at feelings. I hate them

I have so many things to tell you, but if I tell you at this present point in time, I will
most likely loose you as a friend. So I have decided I will just keep them to myself.
Even if i do just want to scream and let them all out.
I don't want to hurt you.

School today had its ups and then it had its downs.

Caitlin Wants Me Dead XP

Holly is Awesome - Thanks for being there. =]
Your a fantastic friend.
xD

So many Questions but so many answers I just don't want to here.

=], =/, =[

I don't know what to feel in this part of my life,To be sad or to be happy.

There is things to be happy about and things that
make me want to go and hide.

I am thankful i have such great friends that make me smile
and that I can talk to, but there is only so much one can do.

Its a stage in my life that I need my friends. So please don't run in the other direction.

Caitlin Says Hi =P

Whenever You need me I will be there

Do you realise I am there whenever you need me.
If you want to talk i am just a text or call away.
I am a good listener.

It makes me sad thinking of you all alone with no one to talk to.
We are alike in more ways than you can think of.
You cant just bottle everything up inside.
I can help if you can just talk to me.

Please, just talk. It will make things better i promise.

Dazed and Confused

Life is so confusing right now,
I want to be friends, but nothing more.
They might tell you that I like you in that way,
but if it doesn't come straight out of my mouth,
don't believe it.

By people saying things to you about me, makes you act completely
different and i don't like this.

Forgive me if I make you feel scared and all that.
I will try my hardest from now on, not to give out mixed signals.

Where the name No Boundaries came from

Sung by Adam Lambert on season 8 final of American idol.
It means something to me, i don't know what exactly but oh well... you might be

Lyrics:

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait?
Every moment last forever.
When you feel you've lost your way.

What if my chances were already gone?
I started believing that I could be wrong.
But you give me one good reason.
To fight and never walk away.

So here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing.

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries.
There are no boundaries.

I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets?
Don't know where the future's heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down
I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I risked being safe but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you
And your dreams

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe

Yeah, there are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes

There are no boundaries.
There are no boundaries.
There are no boundaries.

Spiriling out of Control

Mixed Feelings, are what i am really feeling at this present point in time.
I really want to talk about it but like i can't without hurting someone in some way or form.

You know the feeling when you just want to scream something out but you can't.
When we were in primary school we didn't really care what other thought we just
did what we wanted. That's what was great.

Now we can't even joke around, without someone taking offense to what I have said.
Bring back the good old days any time, I won't care.

At High School there is pressure every where.
Primary School is completely opposite.

I just want things to be different.

Mad World by Adam Lambert

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out spaces, worn out places
Bright and early for the daily races

And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which in dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very,
Mad world, Mad world

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me


And I find it kind of funny,
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very very
Mad world, Mad world
Mad world, Mad world

A Change is Gonna Come

It's been too hard living but I'm afraid to die
Cause I don't know what's up there beyond the sky
It's been a long, a long time coming
But I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will

One Verse from the song A Change Is Gonna Come sums it all up really.
Be patient It will happen.

A day at Verdon ( Me and Alex)

In English when we have to watch Whale Rider we love to make whale noises (because the whale reminds us of a certain someone ) and make innapropiate comments about the movie lmao. In maths all we do is eat and laugh at the Priestinater's massive cameltoe, and also the similarities in looks between her and Michael. It is soooooo funny, but very disturbing too lol. In RE we have the Colinater, and when we have to say 'good morning/afternoon Mrs Conelly, he says 'hello colinater'. Soooooo funny, and this one time I called her a man and she heard me and asked what I said, I lied and told her that i was saying to Nic how nice his colouring in was, and Nic was all like 'huh, you didn't say that'. Fag lmao

Holidays

Taking time to hang out with friends.
Going to movies or just hanging out.

Holidays are perfect for these activity's, but sadly the fun dies out very fast.

These Holidays for example, I hope picks up again and starts to be more interesting.

I am sooo sick of texting people saying im BORED lol.

Alex is a jew. lol. he likes eating my FOOOOOOOOD.
lol.

He is quite funny lol.

HAHA.

IM Bored Now.

Be writing another post soon hopefully lol.